“Hey you wanna go for the new movie Bodyguard?”
Listening to this question, my mind flutters back to several weeks ago, when I was flipping channels on the television.
As some of you may remember, the film was due for release close to Eid and Ganesh Chaturthi. And a program on TV has Ganesh Chaturthi celebrations in full swing. The wife goes up to her husband whining, “Manav, where is the surprise you promised? You said you have something special for me.” And the husband, pointing to the stage says, “Look, it’s right there now”. Wondering what on earth could be the surprise, I decide to watch. A group of guys are dancing away, and I hear the soon-to-be popular tune of Bodyguard.
Oh, Salman Khan is making a special entry in serials now to promote his movie
When I see Kareena Kapoor dance her way in! And the wife going “Oh wow, Kareena Kapoor! Manav, you are the best! I love you!”
Which woman would be so pleased to see a beautiful lady stealing her thunder and be glad about it? And people say women are a jealous bunch??? They haven’t watched this show. :P
Still thinking how stupid this is, I flip channels. Some other program. A pitch dark night.... A deserted highway.... An old lady seated in the back seat of her car, the chauffeur driving at what I’m pretty sure are speeds way above the speed limits. It’s late at night, and the old woman is urging the driver “Hurry, hurry”. Suddenly out of nowhere sprung a bunch of goons. The driver tries to avoid them, he swerves to the left, to the right, but is finally forced to bring the car to a halt. He is dragged out and beaten up by the goons. They now turn their attention towards the old lady, like pack of hungry wolves near a sheep. There’s sudden silence, fear in the old woman’s eyes... (PAUSE)
(Hum the Bodyguard tune) Piercing through the thick mist....riding in on a bike.... Our hero makes an entry. He gets off the bike and walks towards the car. “Bodyguard” is the last word I heard before I switched off the television and ran away to preserve my sanity.
“Pearl, Pearl, are you listening to me? Do you want to watch Bodyguard?”
I’m snapped back to the present. My friend is a huge fan of Salman Khan and when she asks me if I’d like to come for the movie, she means “I want to go for it, and I’d like you to keep me company.” I’m tempted to decline the “invite”, but knowing she’d be hurt, I agree to go.
D-Day arrives. The curtains roll, the movie begins. 10 minutes in, and I’m trying hard not to laugh. The introduction to our hero is an amazing dialogue which ends with “His one look can scare any man”, and the camera focuses on our hero... wearing sunglasses!
I look around at the rest of the audience, sitting at the edge of their seat, watching every scene in the movie with bated breath, as if their very existence depended on it.
I’m relieved when the intermission sign is shown, and was an eager volunteer to go buy popcorn. I almost sprint out of the movie hall to go stand in the queue. While I was awaiting my turn at the counter, I overhear 2 guys talking behind me...
Guy 1: It’s such an awesome movie man! I’ve watched it like 4 times already but I just can’t get enough!
I assume he’s referring to some other movie that’s going on, and wonder why I agreed to come with my friend, when I could have been watching that movie instead
Guy 2: I know dude! Miracles happen when Sallu bhai releases a film on Eid...
Wha-att! Wait a minute... Are these guys talking about the same movie I’m watching???
Guy 2: And his entry! That dance step involving alternately flexing his biceps, just fantabulous!
Guy 1: He’s such an amazing man. Such a larger than life personality, yet so down-to-earth.... Remember how self-deprecating he got when he sang “Sabse hot, sabse hard”...
I was still trying to figure out how that was supposed to be self deprecating.
Guy 1: And that final fight man! I’d watch that movie again and again just for that scene.... How he is blinded by mud and has to use his hearing. Betcha even Batman would be put to shame.
Oh yeah, I had to agree with that! I haven’t yet watched the final sequence, but if what I had watched so far was any indication, the hero was Rajnikant, Spiderman, Krish and Superman, Batman all rolled into one.
I’m now wondering if I even need to go back to the theatre.... But wait! Turns out he wasn’t done yet!!
Guy 1: And then his shirt coming off with that water cannon. So innovative! Uff. Too. Much. No English action movie can beat that!
My head is reeling by now, and I was just glad when my turn came at the counter.
I grab the popcorn and coke and flee from there. I make my way back to the theatre to have my friend hiss at me - “Why are you so late? You missed 10 minutes already”
“Did it really matter?”
The climax of the movie is a must watch, for no words I say here can ever do it justice... But as I walked out of that theatre, I had a smile on my face. I had thoroughly enjoyed the movie. Albeit, I laughed for all the wrong reasons, and had lost three hours of my life that I’d never get back, but I had got my money’s worth on the movie, made a friend happy and had just got a wonderful story for my next post. :)
